We went to Thailand and all you get is this lousy post.

Yeah right, like I'd really pass on this awesome opportunity to fill the world with words. Of course I'll write more than one post, but I'm not going to turn it into a masterpiece of epic proportions like our 4-day trip to Rome last year. And since Ginger suggests that the incredible powers of my words are not enough to convey our experience of Thailand, I will also include pictures.

We went with our friends Dimitar and Wattanikha, or Gung (not to be confused with the word for shrimp in which the 'oo' sound is higher) as we would find out she is known to the rest of the world, who is from Bangkok and whose parents let all of us stay at their house. If it wasn't for any of them, we would not have visited Thailand at this point in time and things would not have been as easy and enjoyable for us as they were. I can't even begin to express our gratitude. Thank you so much!

Our time there was split between Bangkok, the beach town Hua Hin and the island and national park Ko Samet. We spent 3 days in Hua Hin, 3 on Ko Samet and the rest in Bangkok, but started out in Bangkok, then went to Hua Hin and had 2 days in Bangkok again before going to Ko Samet. Then 2.5 more days in Bangkok. Oh, before I forget, I don't know if it's the airline or the destination, but there was more legroom on the flight than on any I had been on to the US. Very nice.

Contrary to popular belief, the weather in Thailand is hot, hot, hot, just like some of the food. And Bangkok is no exception. Plus it's swarming with retired secret agents and frustrated grocery store owners' wives, but everyone knows that. We saw Buddhist temples, rode on the river Chao Phraya, ate magnificient food, shopped in swarming bazaars and shiny malls, watched movies in amazing theatres, sang Karaoke, rode a tuk-tuk, taxi, Skytrain and the underground, but most of all, we got a chance to relax and enjoy ourselves.

As usual, the true purpose of our journey has to remain secret, but let it suffice to say that we have once again come a good deal closer to reaching our elusive goal. Here are some of the clues we could gather:

Just two views, from and of the river. The first one is just some building we saw from the boat and I don't know if it's famous or what it belongs to. The second is of two monks and Wat Arun, the Temple of Dawn, is in the background. Obviously it was taken from the pier. We will revisit Wat Arun in a later post. It's quite cool and holds the secret to making delicious fried bananas. When visiting Bangkok you will learn that many recipes of Thai and other nations' cuisines reveal themselves in the unique architecture and sculptures of Bangkok's temples and shopping malls. The banking buildings have nothing to do with this.

This is a tuk-tuk:

They are basically cheap taxis that you find all over the city and are the subject of many souvenirs. Unlike motorbikes, they can not snake between cars and move through the dense traffic more quickly, but a ride on one is still quite fun. We took one to go around the block because walking in the unforgiving heat of the sun seemed less enjoyable. And while we're talking traffic check this out:

This, dear readers, is not a long line of traffic in a parking lot. It's double-parking. When all the regular spaces are filled up, Bangkok drivers will park behind you. Oh, no need to get your panties all in a bunch, it's no big deal. They leave their car in neutral and you can just push them aside once you're leaving. See? Easy, problem solved. In this picture, we were the ones double-parking and when we left, our car had definitely been moved. Wattanikha told us that sometimes people even triple-park. That's why you have to be able to bench-press at least 85kg when you get your license in Thailand. The upside is that there is no age restriction, so even 5-year olds can get a driver's license, as long as they're strong enough. And since the job of taxi-driver is the next best thing to being king in Thailand, some parents train their kids from a young age, so that they can get a license as soon as possible, like at 6 or 7, and it's not uncommon to meet young drivers when hailing a taxi. And then they can afford great meals such as these:

This, comrades, are fried grasshoppers, maggots and other insects. While there are literally thousands of similar vendors, some with motorbikes like that, offering soups, fried bananas and other tasty delicacies, this was the only one we saw offering insects. I had half a mind to try it, but then I just couldn't do it. I told myself it's because we don't eat at the street vendors in general, because of their potentially questionable hygiene. But in truth, I'm a big chicken. Maybe next time.

Our first meal in Thailand was Chinese, including shark fin soup, the next day we had Japanese. These pictures are of another visit to a Japanese restaurant, where Christina had sushi, and I had fried snapper saba (sorry), including the sharp teeth. They are a little hard to swallow, but the accompanying soup helps. Also, notice my skillful use of the chopsticks. As I learned, my technique is Japanese, Christina's is Chinese. On our first visit to a Japanese restaurant, I had fish head soup with my meal, but only learned this fact after I had gobbled down half the head. My unbiased opinion of it was that it's very tasty. At a different restaurant I also tried jellyfish. A little chewy for my taste, and the waitresses dressed up in German costumes didn't help. We ate so much good stuff though, and all kinds of seafood. I had delicious Tom Yum Kung and Pad Thai and fried rice and green curries, and red curries and all kinds of good stuff. Pumpkin in warm coconut milk, Gingko nuts in coconut milk. As a rule of thumb, anything with warm coconut milk makes a pretty good dessert.

If any of the information I'm providing is inaccurate, I apologize, but Thai is hard to read and sometimes I had to guess to close the gaps.

Sawasdee Krup, Suckers.

Not that we didn't have internet access at our friend Wattanikha's house, but writing from a secluded island just seemed a lot more fun. Yes, that's right, I like rubbing in the fact that we're on a little piece of paradise right now, where the beaches are empty and the water is the temperature of pee. And that's really all I have to say for now. Long, elaborate, exciting stories, that I will turn into something completely boring with my unmatched ability to ramble and ramble will follow in the not too distant future. And in case you were wondering, it's really hot in Thailand, and so is the food. Since we spent most of our time in Bangkok we didn't get too much of a tan, but that's okay. We have a hard enough time fending of the screaming masses as it is. You know how it is when we roll into town. Buddha bless y'all.

M flipping A.

People, I'm finally done studying. I had my oral exams yesterday and Tuesday, passed them all, and can now officially write the letters M and A next to my name. Well, I don't have the papers to prove it yet, but you know what I'm trying to say. As you might have noticed, I haven't blogged a whole lot in the last month, and tomorrow we're going to Thailand for two weeks, so there probably won't be any posts during that time either. Of course I will have to find a real job when we get back, but I'm hoping something will work out with my current job. If not, any old thing will do because, and this is the third item as far as big news is concerned, we're planning to go to New Zealand in September to stay for a year with a work and travel visa. They call it the Working Holiday Scheme. There are just too many arguments for it to keep us from doing it.

Other than that I'm just a little exhausted from driving all over the country, which I will have to do again tomorrow. We're flying from Frankfurt, so it will be almost as far as going to Trier from Bremen, but we'll rest a little with Kelly in Mainz before heading to the airport. Christina is going all over the world this year anyway. She went to England to visit Alice last weekend, now we're going to Thailand and then she will go to Malta with the company in June or July or something. Must be nice.

Anyway, I have a bunch of bananas here that need my attention. The little ones are starting to act up. I guess that's what you get when you let them hang out with strawberries all day. I know I know, I should have listened, but it's too late now.