Radio silence.

Almost two months. Two weeks of those we were in Germany, to celebrate our first wedding anniversary with friends and families that live there. It was really amazing and it was so great to see everybody again. But you know what, just look at the pictures. One of them was taken in Jersey though, from the top of the fun slide race ride or whatever that's called. It was the one with the shortest line and we already had tickets.

Got a broke down engine, but you're not losing any speed

Look, I used song lyrics in the title, just like Joey. There is a supermarket next to the high school I went. Of course it's not really a high school, but I'm not going into the details of the German education system right now. What you need to know is that the school had grades 5-13, and that in grades 11-13, you had a lot more freedom and were treated as more of an adult than in the other grades. Teachers would still call you by their first name, but use the more formal "Sie" to address you. Which is another German peculiarity I'm not going into right now. Anyway, before grade 11 you were not allowed to leave school grounds during school hours, but starting with grade 11 you were. Which meant that in grade 11, you were allowed to go that supermarket and buy whatever you wanted, i.e. chips, soda and chocolate, and eat it as part of your lunch. It was also a great way to kill periods where you didn't have any classes. There was no such thing as study hall in the school I went to. If you were caught going to the supermarket when you were in a grade below 11, you would be in trouble. I don't remember ever being caught or getting in trouble. I think it depended on the teacher that was supervising during the break you went in.

Anyway, the supermarket is pretty much like Wal-Mart and they sell almost everything. And they also have a music department where you can get CDs. Mostly Top 40 stuff and general mainstream, but still worthwhile having a look every once in a while. And one day in the bargain bin, I found Mudhoney's "My Brother the Cow" for an unbelievably cheap 5DM. I had never heard any Mudhoney songs when I got it, only heard the name and thought that no matter how bad this CD is, it's worth getting for the price. Around the same time, I don't wanna say the same day because it might be lie, I bought a CD there for full price, which was around 30DM. I was into hip-hop quite a bit at the time, but I never really stopped listening to other genres. This had to do with the realization that when I would listen to just hip-hop for a while, for whatever reason, there was some kind of void, that could be filled with a good dose of Metallica or maybe some punk rock. But I digress. So I also bought "Vendetta" by Mic Geronimo, after reading a enthusiastic review in a magazine and being surprised to see it in our supermarket, for the regular price. And guess what, Mic Geronimo totally sucked, the worst kind of rap music, and "My Brother the Cow" has become one of my favorite albums ever. If you even that out, I still got a good deal, but it's just so ironic. I end up loving the crapshot, and pretty much loathing the music I paid good money for. Go figure. And even though I really like "My Brother the Cow", I never got any other stuff by Mudhoney. Maybe I'm afraid it would be a letdown.

How to save the world in 1 easy step

Step 1: No more plastic bags from the supermarket.

Once you start paying attention to it, those plastic bags will be everywhere! When we moved out here, a month's worth of trips to the grocery store left us with what felt like a life's supply of plastic grocery bags. So our first step was to reuse those bags instead of adding to the collection with each new trip. But that wasn't really satisfying. We had already started using a linen bag when walking to the grocery store here in town, which has the added benefit of showing some hometown pride for the town I grew up in. In the car we had this black bag we got as a gift from a mattress store. When we went to Indiana the last time, they were selling linen bags at the store there as well, and we got two of them. They are about the size of the black bag, but not pictured here. Those three bags usually provide plenty of room for all of our groceries. But you probably noticed that handsome orange box in the picture as well. I added the apple for size reference.

These kinds of collapsible boxes are really nothing new. My family has been using one for as long as I can remember, and you can get them in a lot of supermarkets in Germany. The one we have now is from The Container Store. Unlike the bags, it wasn't free or really really cheap, but it wasn't overly expensive either. It's great for transporting items that don't bag well, like yogurts and bread. And with the box and the three big bags, there only is one problem left. Bagging the meat. We still use plastic bags for that, recycling the ones we already have, purely for hygienic reasons. Anyway, using our own bags is not at all inconvenient, I even find it easier to carry our stuff inside now. And when I think of all the people that use up so many bags every day, just from the store where we shop, and think about all the other stores in the state, and in the country. And then about how many bags that makes in a week. In a month. In a year. Well, you get the idea. It's a stupendous amount and to reduce that number to near zero is within everyone's power. Easily. Nonetheless, we have yet to see another person using their own bags at the grocery store. As a matter of fact, we see tons of people using two bags. Plastic AND paper. Why anyone would do that is completely beyond me.

So in observance of Earth Day, go and get yourself some reusable bags, preferably cloth ones, and not ones made from plastic, even if it's recycled. If you can't find one in a local store, there are tons of them online. It's too late right now for me post links. Or get a nice collapsible box. It will make you feel better every time you shop.

Sickle and Chocolate

Back when I was a kid, there were two Germanies, and we would get packages from friends in the East every once in a while. Just like the packages we sent over there, they would contain various kinds of sweets: cookies, gummy bears and chocolate. Unfortunately for us kids, we much preferred the Western candy to the Socialists' concoctions. There was a strange taste to it, and I especially remember the gummy bears, which tasted unlike any gummy I ever had, and the chocolate, which wasn't entirely unfamiliar. I recall the cookies being alright, but cookies are one of my favorite foods, so who knows how good they really were. Back to the chocolate though, it tasted a lot like some of the very cheap varieties we had on our side of the Iron Curtain. Not so much of that creamy richness and delicious cocoa, but more of an assault of sugar that did not melt smoothly in your mouth but dissolves into what feels like tiny crystals of sugar.
Anyway, years passed, the memory of the Socialist chocolate drifting deeper and deeper into my subconsciousness. Until one day, I took a trip right to the very heart of capitalism and, against my better judgment, partly out of terrible despair, bought a regular little bar of Hershey's chocolate. Maybe it was the fact that it is so widespread and widely loved in the US. Maybe it was just curiosity. But what I know for certain, is that it tasted a lot like what I remember the chocolate from the German East to taste like. Especially with regards to that grainy sugar taste and texture. And just recently I realized the irony in all this. That the system that embraces free markets and enterprise, and believes in their superiority in bringing out the greatest in human endeavors, and the system that stands for the exact opposite of that, that believes that human endeavor is best carefully regulated and controlled for the greater good, both produce the same kind of funny-tasting chocolate.

Vroooom!

People need to learn how to drive. I'm serious. Especially the ones with big cars. I had a little free time on my hands and conducted some research. Turns out, the bigger the car you drive, the worse of a driver you are. And it makes sense, too. If you're a bad driver, driving is really scary cause you're always on the verge of bumping into things or getting hit by drivers staying in their lanes. So what do you do to feel more secure? You get a big old vehicle which makes you feel all cozy and protected. And that vehicle is usually one of the sports utility persuasion, but pick-up trucks too. Problem with that is, that if you're already a bad driver, getting a big car only aggravates the calamity. Cause now an already bad driver has way more on their hands than they can possibly handle. But the car makes them feel secure, so they pay even less attention. For the rest of us it means botched parking jobs, or actually botching anything having to do with parking or driving in a parking lot, and generally driving like they have no clue. Anyway, to express it in mathematical terms:

car size / a = amount of bad driving

where "a" is driving ability on a scale from 1 to 10.

Sing theory.

I have been developing a theory about musicians from New Jersey. As you may well know, the Garden State has an image problem. And when I thought of it, I had "dirty industrial areas" and "Bon Jovi" in my head. The theory, and as you will soon find out, this is the scientific kind of theory that serves as a model to explain a certain aspect of the world, as in the theory of relativity, is that bands from New Jersey are freaking awesome (Axiom 1). Solo artists, however, are not so hot (Axiom 2). Have a look at the field data: Monster Magnet - Awesome. The Fugees - Awesome. Bruce Springsteen - Unawesome. So far so good.

But what about Bon Jovi? First of all, just admit it, when you hear "Livin' on a Prayer" or "Wanted Dead or Alive" come on the radio, you feel the excitement swell up inside of you and almost start humming those undeniably annoying songs. But then you would admit those songs are at least partly fun, so you swallow that hum, honk you horn (New York City drivers only, and yes, that's why there is so much honking going on in that town, but that's a different theory altogether), and vow never to talk about it to anyone. If somebody else is with you, you actually start singing along, in a way that suggests you are mocking the song, in order to assert your dislike of that abomination of a band. It's okay, we all do it.

Then remember, that Jon Bon Jovi is the singer of Bon Jovi, and thus they belong to a particular subset of bands, a subset that, at least to my knowledge, does not exclusively contain crappy, but definitely questionable bands. They're bands named after one of their members, usually the singer, without actually saying "band" in the name. Like Alice Cooper, Marilyn Manson and, of course Bon Jovi. Anyway, Bon Jovi doesn't count as an example of a NJ band that isn't awesome, because they are named after their leading member (Axiom 3).

Enter Titus Andronicus for further proof. Back in 11th or 12th grade, I was struggling a little in my English class. In case you didn't know, the German school system goes up to grade 13, and you have either classes that meet twice a week, or intensive ones that meet 3 times, and individual sessions last longer. You have to pick 2 intensives starting in the second half of 11th grade where I'm from, and a bunch of regular ones. I picked English and Math as my intensive classes, because those were my favorites and I got decent grades. However, I wasn't doing as well in the English class as I was expecting. I ended up doing a few sessions with a tutor, who basically helped me practice writing essays, and next thing you know, I get a freaking 1 in the next test (scale is 1-6, 1 being the best). No, it was the second next. But that doesn't matter. What matters is, that the test was on Shakespeare's Macbeth. I really enjoyed reading it, and that good grade was a great reward. And what's even better, I didn't struggle in that class from there on after. All thanks to Ol' Bill da Bearded. Yeah, he has a rap name. And the tutor of course, but I like to think she just helped me get on the right path. I had to do the walking myself.

Also, an album with the first song called "Fear and Loathing in Mahwah, NJ" is almost certain to be awesome, especially if you actually know where that town is. Though I think some people might not like the singer sounding a bit like Johnny Rotten sometimes. I guess it's an acquired taste. But Fear and Loathing, the one of the Las Vegas persuasion, reminds me of another great book, one of my all-time favorites, on which I wrote a paper in university and also received an excellent grade. It's "The Crying of Lot 49", which incorporates some elements of "Oedipus the King" by Sophocles, who also wrote "Antigone", which we saw at the theater last night. Science, Shakespeare, Greek drama, Rock and Roll. Is that what life is all about?

Buy Buy Buy.

It's been so long that you probably don't remember what this is following up to, but it seems like to every post I write these days, I have to do a short follow-up. So let's keep it short: What are your feelings about juice from a brand named "Looza". Look deep inside of you.

I kinda feel like I keep writing about the same thing, but once again I made some observations while fulfilling my capitalist duties. Now, I like shopping at Walmart as much as the next person, but while I think most negative aspects about shopping there are merely questions of degree, there is one thing that really bothers me above all. It's those edited CDs. They shouldn't even exist, and, at least to me, represent some of the things about the US I'm not particularly fond of. First, there is the hypocrisy of selling plenty of violent movies and games, but a few naughty words, and instead of helping to devise a system similar to movies and video games that restricts the sale of some items to people that are too young, they don't even give you a choice. Instead they think it's much better to censor the artists. And what's up with people leaving their shopping carts in the parking lot? I'm not the only one to notice, but it's becoming an epidemic. In Germany, most supermarkets make you put in a coin to get a cart, which you get back when you return it. And guess what? No carts in the lots in Germany. I'm convinced that 90% of the carts left in lots are left there because people are lazy, not because it was physically impossible or unreasonable for the person to return it. Lazy Americans!

I'm starting to think that maybe my heightened awareness of things related to consumerism is an aftershock of the year we spent in New Zealand. Another thing I became more aware of when we were there are the ingredients in the different kinds of food. The other day we accidentally almost bought no-fat yogurt, and when I looked at the calorie count, I noticed a difference that the absence of fat alone could not explain. And guess what, a regular yogurt has about 15-20 of its total 150-190 calories from fat, yet a no-fat yogurt has almost half the total calories. The REAL difference is not the fat content, as its prominent placement on the cup and lid would have you believe, but the sugar. No-fat yogurt has none. It uses Aspartame (aka NutraSweet aka E951 aka Equal aka Canderel aka ...) instead, which accounts for the more significant difference between the two. Yet, most yogurt makers find it more important to point at the fat content. Sure, it's just clever marketing as health-conscious buyers try to steer clear of artificial sweeteners, but I can't help but feel it's downright misleading and dishonest. It's like selling water as Diet Coke, and calling it Diet Coke Clear, or some better comparison you can make up yourself. I'm multi-tasking today and following College Basketball while writing this. Also, if my math is vaguely right, full-fat yogurt should only have about 20, maybe 40 calories more than low-fat. That is so insignificant, it's not even funny.

In other news, I'm so glad that daylight savings time is just a few short days away is finally here! That's how long it takes me to write posts these days.