Another moment of rest.

The Linton Daily Citizen has got to be the best newspaper ever. You get all the gossip and the most important world events on their website while learning about which highschool softball team lost again. But that's the stuff I don't usually read. Because the Citizen knows how to do one thing better than anybody else: write news stories that ain't even news at all. And they're not trying to hide it either. Some of those headlines are way better than anything The Onion could ever come up with. And if they tried on a rainy Sunday afternoon with three pieces of pie for everyone. Which supports my view that nothing is more ficticious than reality.
So here is the beginning of their latest gem, which immediately made me laugh at the irony of it all:

Bats are part of Greene County's natural environment
By Andrea McCann, staff writer

A small brown bat casually napping upside down next to the Linton Police Department back door Tuesday hardly aroused any interest in people working in the building.

The bats are a common sight, according to LPD dispatcher Vicki Gamble, who unexpectedly found one in the bathroom last year.

Now don't get me wrong, I am in no way trying to disrespect the Linton Daily Citizen. I really respect their work. I mean, where else do people still have the chance to write and read about such things? Cause you do actually learn stuff about bats you might not have known before. But you gotta be able to laugh at it, too. So here's my salute to news that "hardly arouse any interest".