Another wacky adwenture

Bonjour mes amis, Christina and I took a trip to France on the weekend. We left on Friday around noon and got back on Sunday night. Our destination was the beautiful town of Chartres which lies about an hour southwest of Paris. We went there to see one of the most important gothic cathedrals, which one of my relatives enthusiastically talked about the weekend we spent in Wiesbaden. So we thought we better take the opportunity to go there while we still live so close to France. The drive was about 4 1/2 hours, and we only had a little bit of bouchon around Paris, not that we didn't expect it. What worried me more were the monkeys, that were hanging on to all sides of the car, and their bananas, but more about that later. Okay, so where do I go from here? You know this will be long so you better get something to drink or a snack cause I'm going to keep you up all night. It's cold today, isn't it? So we drive and drive and drive: through Luxembourg, and into France and at Thionville we take a shortcut that takes us down this beautiful, curvy road with lots of trees and we did not get lost, and we get on the autoroute, which costs money, and we drive through the Champagne region, and we approach Paris, and we drive and drive, and finally, we see the cathedral, towering from afar.
It was truly a magnificent view. The cathedral's up on a hill, so when you drive in all you see is the cathedral, as if it's sitting far away in a field or something. Or at least almost. So we get there, get turned around a little and go straight to the cathedral because: Oh no, I'm not telling yet. Have to create tension, tie my readers to these words. We found parking and get out of the car (surprise, surprise) and what do I see on my car? Unbelievable, that pigeon I mentioned earlier, that was sitting on my car when we left, was still sitting there. Rode with us the whole way. Have you ever heard such madness? It must have gotten tired of flying. At least it could have helped carrying the car, but how do you argue with a pigeon in France, knowing only enough of their language not to starve? Next thing, we are walking towards the cathedral, up these little roads until we are right in front of it. Two towers...well...towering high above, all kinds of sculptures all over the place, flying buttresses galore. The church is pretty 'fat' for cathedrals I think, a lot of the others I have seen give a less wide impression. So we walk in and, as anyone who has ever been in such a building will know, the first thing you do is look up, only to realize that, yes, the ceiling is really, really high. Mon Dieu! Apparently Chartres has one of the largest vaults in all of Europe and on top of that the sides are also pretty wide when you're inside. They also have one of the largest collection of stained glass windows there that, what else, tell stories from the bible. And finally, we have reached the because. In Chartes there is, on the floor and made with black and white stones, a labyrinth, that is usually covered by chairs, but that is cleared on Fridays. You can't get lost in it, but we were told that we should definitely walk it, in and out. The reason they have it, is because pilgrims come to Chartes and when they enter the church, they walk the labyrinth. It is to symbolize their journey, and I personally read it as a metaphor for life, and it offers a look at life that I found very interesting and rewarding. Now I'm not the most religious type, but I think everybody knows the times of uncertainty or doubt or what-have-you in life. And religion is what people use to cope with the things they can't explain or when they seem to be stuck. So while I realize that there is a pretty good chance that religion is basically something that humans made up to explain what we don't understand, I do think that the metaphors that are used can help to evaluate certain things. They just shouldn't be held up as the only valid truth that leads to the solving of all problems or you go to hell. Oh and when I say religion, I mean Christianity, don't know about the others. Doesn't make sense right, well, I might elaborate later.
So we walk the labyrinth, and the path is curving and there is only so much that you can predict, even though you always see the middle, and finally you get there and you can stand still for a moment and look around and it seems you have reached a point of clarity, you can see clearly for as long as you stand there, but ultimately you have to walk back, things are just as confusing as they were before and you just have to trust that however twisted the way is, it will always lead you back out. You see the parallels, right? Life is a winding road and it is hard to tell exactly what your goal is, and you wish so much you could see around you and know exactly what will happen, and you might reach that point at some time, but this clarity cannot last forever, you will have to walk on, cause the moment you see clearly, is also the moment you stand still. I think that is not entirely wrong.
We looked around a little more, but went to check in at the hotel, since we were taking a guided tour the next day. The hotel was right on the river that runs through the town, the Eure, and it was so pretty. I like that, how in towns that are on two sides of rivers, the river is actually like a canal, and there are old walls everywhere, and houses right on the river. Better not drop anybody out the window. You could also still see the places where people used to wash their clothes. We were told that there are good, but expensive restaurants along the river, and holy-maloney, they were expensive. But we found this other cool place, that turned out to be the 'hip' place to go, and the food was cheap. Unfortunately, I could only read parts of the menu, and we ended up getting these dark, crepe-style pancakes, filled with cheese and ham and what have you. I thought we were getting something with bread. Oops. Luckily we were almost starving and after initial skepticism, it was a pretty good meal. We also had a tasty white wine with it. Can't go to France and not drink wine. That's out of the question. We finally wandered back to the hotel, by walking all over the historic downtown and checking out the cathedral by night. And when we were walking back by the river, what do we see? That ole dog that I mentioned before, that sat on our car, was taking a bath in the river. The nerve. So I told her, hey, if you want a ride home you better wash yourself good and get some money together, cause I ain't taking no stinking, broke and hungry dog home with me. See how I didn't use bitch? Wrote that first, but thought it was too obvious. No need to make that joke for the 100th time. At the hotel we just went straight to sleep, and if we didn't you'd never know cause I wouldn't tell.
The breakfast buffet at the hotel was excellent. Croissants and baguette and everything you could ask for. The tour wasn't until 12 so we walked around a little and shopped (they had a great selection of music at the local FNAC, There's A Riot Goin' On is all I'm saying for now) and we got some tasty chocolate and a bottle of Bordeaux. That may have been after the tour, but who keeps track of these things. Tour was okay, mostly about the windows, also went up the north tower, which is the fancier one of the two and visited the Crypta. All very interesting, but I don't want to make y'all jealous and I want to spare you from the details. Plus I'm getting tired of typing. But you insist on hearing all about our great lives. Had a picnic with baguette and cheese on the steps of the cathedral, with swarms of kids looking at the town, craziness. We had planned on going to eat that night and drink a little but we ended up getting french fries at the bar and a little bit of wine. Merci beaucoup to the French waiter who was patient with my lack of French and didn't charge us for the fries.
Another great breakfast, with the only trouble being the rhinoceros that kept blocking the buffet, I was starting to get sick of that thing and seriously considered not taking him home with us. So now we are heading home, with a quick stop at the Chateau de Versailles. Found the way there easy, took a guided tour and looked at all the gold and the paintings and there is just so much to see, it's overwhelming. And I'm sorry to say this, but that stuff was gaudy as hell. It's so over the top it's unbelievable. But hey, if you're the king and had a mistress, why not give her outrageous furniture for her room, IN YOUR VERY OWN CASTLE!!! I bet he promised Madame Bovary he would one day marry her and so she kept sitting there hoping, but really all he wanted was some skin. Or maybe she was playing him for the money. Okay, Versailles was pretty, basically what I expected, still cool though.
And now the trouble begins. I had directions printed from the 'internets' that worked pretty fine. But I forgot to look up the way from Versailles to Trier, so we end up heading into Paris, our map is not detailed enough to tell us where the heck we're going and when we see the Eiffel Tower we know we're not right. Merde! After a number of wrong turns and missed turns and growing tension in the car, (I had by that time told the freaking ostrich who's boss and it was hangin on to the back of the car, from the outside) I say, let's just head back in the direction of Chartres, and as soon as we can, we just get off and head the opposite way. Turns out that that's a long way around, but we made it back home. Zut alors. We also stopped in Reims to check out the cathedral there, and it was pretty cool too, but we didn't have much time, so we got us a bottle of Champagne, that is real Champagne people, not fizzy wine, for a very fair price, and the guy even told us that it's an excellent kind (take that Moet & Chandon and all you other 50 Euro bottles) while we were trying to pick some out. Not that I'd know the difference, but so what? Back in Luxembourg we get some gas and head home. I park the car and finally, after clinging to the bottom of the car for the entire weekend, that stupid turtle decides to walk off. And all of a sudden it starts running real fast and takes a leap and PUFF! just goes up in smoke and a mysterious key falls to ground. Attached to it was a rolled-up piece of paper with a weird message and a map, but that will be the topic of another story.
So now you think, 'Finally this is over and I can go back to eating my ice-cream, but no, I just keep rambling on and on and never stop. So what have we learned on this trip? When traveling near Paris, make sure you have good directions and a detailed map. It helps to know the words on a menu when trying to figure out what you're ordering. And never, ever, ever, ever travel with wild animals. Oh, and you have something on your chin there, yeah, now you got it. Sorry, where was I, oh yeah, lessons learned. Well that was pretty much it. Weather wasn't all that great but who cares. Better to go in rain than not to go at all. Hey, another great comparison to life in general. Or is it? Anyway, it was fun talking to you, remember how much I love you all, and maybe it's time you took the trash out.