Who would have thunk it?

So I wanted to post a first post that doesn't talk about being a first post. And so far I'm not doing great. I think about it too much. Let's just lay out the rules for the blog then:
1. If you pick a fight in the comments, make it worth everybody's while.
2. If you don't wanna fight, at least try to be a little mean.
3. If you're nice, well that's just plain rude, but still welcome.
4. No rules.
Boy, that was so dang funny, I hope you didn't fall off your chair, get caught on the keyboard, tear it down with you, rip out the cord, fall into the plant, spill all the earth and have a ping-pong ball fall on your head when the phone started ringing. And why are you having a plant right by your computer? Will you ever learn? Sometimes I really wonder about you. Oh, so now you're trying to turn it around on me, huh? What was that? Oh, okay, well your mom's not exactly a beauty queen either. And neither is your dog. So there. Yeah, that shut you up didn't it? Punk!